I watched Foreign Exchange last night and Phonte was really funny. He had great in-between banter. He’s so talented - a real entertainer. He had a good line like “25-year-olds, you go out to the clubs - turn up, turn up. Once you hit 30 though, it’s like, ‘Netflix, nigga, turn up, turn up!” He then talked about dinner dates and the joy of them getting cancelled ‘cause he had “House of Cards” to watch. It was like a Larry David bit. But it was really good - live band and back up singers.
I remember when I was 12 or so, I was on a plane going to Toronto and I was sat next to this old-ass Japanese woman and she was so nice and we talked for hours. I still think about her and wonder if she remembers me. She’s not dead. She’s Japanese. She’ll be around a while.
When I was twelve, I was playing basketball for my school and got a rebound then put the ball back up to score a basket and as we ran to the other side I’m looking at my dad smiling, but it’s quiet and my friend, who was the best player, but really intense said, “Why’d you do that?” and I was confused but brushed it off. It was a few minutes later that I realized I scored on our team but I don’t know how it was brought to my attention or who told me. I used to get so nervous for the more competitive games that I could totally miss something like that.
Once, I was at a San Jose Clash (soccer) game w/ my brother and dad and was lured away by knockoff Tamagotchis on a merchant’s table and my family wandered off. I soon came to my senses and realized the situation. After circling the outer perimeter of the stadium a few times and being too shy to ask a policeman for help, I never found my family and if anyone’s seen them, let me know. I’ve been chilling w/ this Mexican family for about 15-18 years. They’ve been really cool but I just kinda wanna know what my bio fam’s up to.
i came home and didn’t say anything to my dad who was on the pc in a room next to the bathroom and i turned the fan that was on off and he was so engrossed in typing emails he didn’t think the fan turning off was weird, he just assumed the power went out. he stopped typing for a sec, then proceeded to keep typing. i’m just kinda waitin’ in the doorway of the room, waitin’ for him to get up or something and after about a minute he turns around to me waitin’ there and i swear to god i’m never scaring this dude again, ‘cause he’s got high blood pressure and ‘cause i saw a fear in his eyes i’ve yet encountered. never have i seen this man’s body move so fast as he braced w/ his feet like he was about to do a kata while clutching his heart.
In 2000, these painters were painting inside our house we intended to sell and I noticed one of them would leave their wallet on the toolbox and it was always fat. So I stole 20 from it one time. Also, if you were these two grown men, wouldn’t you feel uncomfortable painting in a house w/ just 2 young boys (my brother and me) in the house? I didn’t think about that when I started this post. Anyway, pre-meditated theft. Stay woke to young thieves you paint houses for.
I met Alex Bleeker of Real Estate and told him he looked like a young Dave Attell. I dunno, man, I panicked
I don’t watch porn anymore. Just get off on cherry blossoms falling and the sound of waterfalls and shit.
I saw Real Estate last night and though it was sold out, Ezra 3deep5u managed to get us some tickets cheap, so big thanks for that. This is the fourth time seeing them and I didn’t get to see them in 2013, so I had a lot of emotions built up, waiting to be unleashed. Man, they’re so polished. I didn’t cry but I was literally smiling as big as I could for 80% of the show. I’d look back at other people to see if they were doing the same, and better believe they were :) They played damn near everything but “Out of Tune” and “Suburban Beverage.” Talked with Alex Bleaker afterward, told him he looked like a young Dave Attell (shots fired). I think that was my favorite concert experience ever.
One time, I saw Beach Fossils w/ a friend. After, we were outside, chatting w/ another friend and this dude walks by and says “Anyone want these tickets (to the Prince concert about 5 buildings down)?” I assumed he meant to buy, but my friend said sure and we got one ticket. We had a limited time though, ‘cause we had to get to the last train in 20 minutes or so. We agreed I’d pop in for a minute then come out, but when I came out, I couldn’t find him, so I sprinted to the train station, thinking I’d catch up to him. It turns out he was at the venue’s pizza restaurant on the side. Anyway, I got on the train and he ended up stuck in the city. He chilled the night at my school and used my school ID to use the computers. That was the night I saw Prince for 30 secs and I have a new phone now w/ a stronger battery :) His old phone.
On the topic of Tim Alien grunts:
A few summers ago, my friends and I got high and watched the 36th Chamber of Shaolin, dubbed version. There’s a scene where a character grunts and my friend says, “What is this, ‘Tool Time: China,’ nigga?” and about 30 seconds went by before I processed that joke and the three of us laughed for 30 minutes straight and ignored the movie ‘cause we were hysterical. I’ll find the grunt.
Once, during a Boys & Girls Club league basketball game, an 8-year-old me amassed an astonishing ten points in a game before being subbed out and soon after, a disgruntled mother shouted “Put Dennis back in!” and I, I felt so alive, for the very first time.
HAHA I only listen to “Blurry Lines” when I can’t find my glasses and I need my sweet nose candy. Wait, what’s that song about??
Trying to think of any instances of ever calling a stranger a name or raising my voice at them. It’s bothering that I can’t but reassuring ‘cause I know I’m so pure. Oh wait, no, I drunkenly yelled at my friend’s cousin about two and a half years ago ‘cause he was insistent about me putting some clothes on ‘cause I was wearing my short swim trunks. Definite pent-up homoerotic rage. Damn, I kinda want an opportunity to yell at a stranger. Maybe I’m too objective about things for them to warrant any kind of outburst. LIke really, I can’t remember the last time some stranger has fucked up my hour. Punch me in the face. You can call me Nancy.